Learning to Trust Again
Pt 1
Trust can be broken like a hammer shattering a glass table. Physical, emotional, sexual, and spiritual abuse can destroy a relationship and underline a person’s sense of security, safety, and well-being. Death, injuries, and trauma can also break the bo
nds of trust. And yet, virtually every interaction in our lives is based on trust. We trust cars to start when we turn the ignition. We trust doctors to diagnose our symptoms. We trust banks to keep our money in a safe place. We trust schools for an education. We trust our spouse in marital vows. People whose trust has been destroyed can feel desperate and lonely with the perception of any interaction as a threat. Rebuilding trust is not only essential, it is foundational for healthy relationships. Trust is the glue that holds us together in difficult situations. Here are some guides to learn to trust again.
- Believe your future is different from your past. This is very difficult to understand at first. If you focus on the rear view and side view mirrors, this could prevent you from looking and believing that there is someone to trust through the windshield ahead. When there’s a pattern of behavior or a situation that keeps repeating itself, it’s important to use the past to guide you and not control you.
Learning to Trust Again
Pt 2
Trust is the backbone and foundation to healthy surviving relationships. When trust is broken, it is important to understand that rebuilding trust is critical for survival. Trust is the glue that holds us together through trying times and difficult experiences. Here are some guides to learn to trust again.
- Identify your beliefs and core values. Whatever you believe in you will become. You will attract the people in your life based on your own beliefs and values. Your beliefs can carry you forward in the bleakest of times. Identifying your core values can help predict your future. If you haven’t identified your passions and the things that drive you, this would be a good time. They will help allow you to trust again.
- Trust yourself again. Believe and know you are a good person!! When you find it hard to trust others it is often because you don’t trust yourself. Not trusting your own judgements and decisions usually comes from a pattern of being wrong over and over. It is impossible to trust someone else if the trust is not embedded in you. This could lead to a vicious cycle of failed relationships. The only way off the hamster wheel of distrust is to trust and it begins with yourself.
Learning to Trust Again
Pt 3
The reality of the life you live in is that people you love and trust will let you down. Even with all the pain you are carrying from past brokenn
ess, you can learn to trust again. So far we have talked about believing your future is different from your past, identifying your personal beliefs, and trusting yourself. Here are a few more insights in learning to trust again.
- Take care of yourself. A normal reaction to broken trust is to withdraw from relational interaction. Part of getting wind back in your sails is to look after yourself and understand that just because something happened to you, you can recover. Taking care of yourself will allow you to cope on your own. Self-care will give you confidence and make you feel better. There’s something very powerful about doing something for yourself even when you don’t want to.
- Trust in God. There is something authoritative and comforting when you can trust in someone bigger than yourself and others. Trust in the Lord with all your heartand lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6 God is and will always will be true to His Word. You can count on him to lead you with wisdom, peace, and strength. God is not only trustworthy but he will teach you to trust again.
